My Love/Hate Relationship With Bread

Today was a terrible day for food choices.

Not that I made a lot of them.

Just one, really.

Bread.

Lots and lots of delicious bread.

This morning I picked up a 12-grain bagel, toasted with butter from Tim Hortons. Then, later on I had a slice of whole bread with cheese whiz. After work I ate a chicken thigh with peas and corn. Supper time was some veggies - broccoli, cauliflower, red pepper, celery, and little cherry tomatoes with a little salt and ranch salad dressing followed by a tiny slice of pizza.

I feel like I have spent most of my day eating bread. Delicious and tasty warm bread.

Somewhere in the midst of all this eating bread - well, eating in general - I went to the gym for an hour. Just some cardio, nothing major. I don't know where my motivation has gone and I'm coming down really hard on myself because of it, which generally means I've been feeling like shit the last couple of days.

Maybe I just need to set clearer goals for myself. Pull up my pants and fucking commit to something instead of half-assing it like I have been. Ugh.

I need help. Maybe obsessing over it like I am is only making it worse, and I'm just building up all this anxiety over it and everything.

Although, today has been weird anyhow, and I'm sure that my negativity is just a by-product of a mental funk. It'll go away. A good night's sleep. A hot bath. I've got some beautiful books calling my name as well. And I'm working a lot - more than I was at my last job and I think it might just be taking me a little while to adjust. I'm sure that all will be well. Some green tea wouldn't go astray - maybe I should start having that in the morning as opposed to coffee. And I skipped my breakfast this morning too. That might have something to do with this.

Although, if I haven't been as active as I know I should be, then feelings of lethargy are bound to set in. So, a new day. And tomorrow, after work I should commit to going to the gym. I should be taking this one day at time. One step toward being more healthy and active every day.


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