A New Day

Yes, internet a new day has dawned. And to continue the metaphor this bright new dawn follows a somewhat too long and too dark night. Okay, well it wasn't as bad as all that but there was a minute there when it all could have gone horribly awry. As it was, I had certain persons who shall remain nameless*coughkellycough* that I had officaly gone off the deep end.

I have been making adjustments to my new life. Not the least of which has been moving in with friend's of mine in Paradise - the town that I now call home. I love it. They are warm and genuine people who I love and they have the most darling little boy ever who I plan on stealing away in the dead of night, along with my niece and living happily ever after with in a faraway place that never gets cold! It shall be glorius, internet. We will live and laugh until our tummies hurt and drink coconut milk and tropical fruit bunch, and look at fishies swimming everywhere and have a warm, cozy house on the beach!

Right. Enough with the kidnapping. But srsly .. these children are beautiful. Soon enough there will be pictures. Maddox, who is only slightly older than my neice was getting ready to leave this afternoon to go to the babysitter's house. He looked at me, all dressed and ready to go waved and said "see ya later!" in his adorable little voice and ran over to give me a kiss! I melted internet. We sit and read stories about Mother Goose and Tonka trucks, which comes out sounding like "big cock!" when Maddox says it. He has beautiful blonde hair, and the most angelic chubby little face and gorgeous blue eyes.

Classes have also started again, which is beyond awesome. It gives me ample distraction from getting caught in the inevitable bad days that will come. I no longer listen to my Melancholy playlist on YouTube. I am done feeling sorry for myself. Done, done, and done. Even I can only stand so much wallowing and feeling sorry for myself, lamenting that I am now single. But, I'm getting used to it.

I'm flirting again, internet. And I love it! I have customers who come in at work (also another welcome distraction) who flirt and I shamelessly return it! It's bliss I tell you, bliss! I had forgotten how much fun it was to flirt - and an ego boost too! I unabashedly gawk at handsome men. It's wonderful! And, I think a lot of my newly found and formed state of mind has a lot to do with two... opkay three things.

One: My Tattoo. Srsly. I love it. I look at all the time and gush over how pretty and delicate and feminine it is and everything it means. And somehow .. I know that no matter what, I'm gonna be okay. I know that there's a little bit of Shakti in me - all I have to do is look for it. It's really a powerful word I have inked into my skin. I knew what it meant when I got it done .. but now internet.. gods, i do love it. It has become almost something spiritually profound for me. As a woman, I am capable of all things that Shakti means: creation, life, birth, strength, beauty - the epitomy of everything feminine. I think ,.. no, I know that getting this tattoo has been one of the best deciscions I have ever made. There are more I want to get as well, but they will have to wait. I am utterly broke right now.

Two: Kelly. My dearest and darling big sister. I love her so much. She has been one of the constants in my life, and been with me through every new boyfriend and every break up. She has shared my triumphs and when I felt as if I had gotten the shitty end of stick she's been there to take my side and swear at the nay-sayers. She has always told me everything in black and white - never grey. And I love her for it. She doesn't sugar coat anything for when .. even though sometimes I wish she would but am beyond glad when she doesn't. She said I needed to get back on the road to reclaiming myself. And she couldn't be more right. She usually is about stuff like that. So I have come to decide a few things after talking to her.

The first is that I am no longer going out to look for a man. I have done that for as long I can remember. SO, from now on if a guy wants my attention he's just going to have to come and make himself known to me and I will decide from there if I can be bothered or not to pursue it. I have plans that I've made, things that I want to do with my life and I absolutely refuse to compromise them for anybody. I've made my share of sacrifices to get where I am and I'm not finsihed getting to where I want to go. Sure, I could have not made the choices I made and have all the other things that I want, but deep down I know I wouldn't be happy. So, for the time being my personal life is just going to have to wait.

I've also decided to get a haircut. I don't know what .. and frankly, I don't care. I'm getting my friend, who's also a hairdresser, to do it. I've said to her already that I don't care what she does with it .. just do something. Cut it off, change the color ... do whatever you want. It's about time. I haven't cut my hair in a very long time and now that one chapter of my life is over, it's time to start the new one on a high note. A haircut seems like a perfect idea.

Three: Dee. I love this girl. She knows me so well, and knows exactly what music to put to use in any given situation. She makes me laugh until I want to pee my pants. She isn't afriad to be silly with me and she invaribly knows how to make me feel better. She has made new countless mixed CDs that I keep in my car and from them, I've collected a few personal anthems. One of which is Crazy Bitch. It's vulgar and raw and I love it! Another is Fuck You, by Lily Allen. I love Lily regardless but this particular song is perfect for when you're pissed off and you feel like flashing the world The Bird. Already Gone, by Kelly Clarkson is another. It's a little on the sad side but it fits me ...y'know? I could go on and on at great length about Dee and her music but it's getting near supper time and I'm cooking tonight!

So, on that note I leave you with Lily's Fuck You!

Reality Check

Hello Internet.

You know I really don't like it when vacations end. I really don't. I especially don't like the ending of this particular vacation. Other family vacations I have been on, I was kinda glad to come home and whatnot, but this one? God I have never wanted to be anywhere else so bad before in my life.

Coming back home is actually a little stressful. I got this beautiful tattoo while in vacation (and it's healing wonderfully) and my parents are both twerked out about it and everything and generally trying to make me feel like shit about it. And then once I get off the airplane and back to the place where I was going to spend the night - and also where I had left my car during my week long holiday - at the ungodly hour of roughly 4am, I was really too tired to check on my car. So I did this morning. I woke up and sort've threw myself together to grab a quick cup of coffee with my girlfriend before I drove home to my parents house only to discover that my car.won'tmove.

Not at all. Not even an inch! It looks liek the rear right brake has seized up. Now. I have been awya for a week. I barely have clean clothes to wear. I have to return to work in the morning. And my only means of transportation is mildly fucked up. And because I went shopping every other day I have like ... zero cash to pay for repairs if it has to go for servicing. Apparently, seized brakes is one of those things that you can sort've fix yourself or some shit, I dunno. And I will be good and goddammed if I turn to my parents ask borrow money from them to fix the car.

Plus, I have other shit on my plate to deal with that I really don't want to ... I'm stressed out to be back home and I hate it.

-huffs-

Toronto Vacation - Update One

So far Toronto is awesome!

The first day I arrived was pretty laid back and casual - although I did spend a few hours kicking around the airport waiting for my friend to come get me. Apparently, I'm a dumbass. Yes I know, this comes as quite a shocker to you - but even people of such high levels of greatness such as myself are not beyond pure and total levels of dumbassery. I told my friend Swati that I was coming on Thursday (aug. 20th) - when in actual fact I was coming on Wednesday (Aug. 19th). So you see now why I had to wait around the airport. But it was good though! There were limos outside that were available to people (and trust me, I was very tempted to get in one and just .. go). BUT, there were also dinosaurs in the terminal okay! Real, honest and for true dinosaurs! I couldn't just leave them there! They were hungry - they had wasted away to nothing but bones! Anyway, Swati comes to get me and we make use of the public transit system. I have to say ... it's puts OUR public transit to.shame. For real. This system is so organized .. and usually runs ON TIME!! I KNOW! Clockwork people. Clockwork. And, have I mentioned what a fabulous little place this is to just sit and people watch? There is never a dull moment.

And gay people - there are gay people EVERYWHERE!!! It's like they walk around in packs! But they're adorable! I even saw one today in cut off black denim shorts! Dee ... I couldn't help but think of you.

But anyway .. we get to Swati's apartment and then we wander out for food and groceries and we try this absoliutely fabulous Thai restaurant called Green Thai. Oh.Emm.Gee internet Oh.Emm. Eff.Gee. They had the best chicken curry I have ever tasted! Green curry is a little different than Indian curry and it has a coconut-milk type of base ... holy fuck. It was absolutely divine!

Then yesterday .. we shopped. All day. Right through thunder storms and torandos we shopped. It was fabulous. The heat gave me a bit of a headache but it was fantastic! I bought some KILLER clothes for not only me but my fam as well! And we shopped again today too. It was bad. I now officially love the Eaton's Center. There were 2 tornado's that hit though - which is a weird occurance for here apparently. And according to my Mom, NL is supposed to get by a hurricane on Sunday night, which thankfully I will miss because I will be soaking it all up here in TO!

We went into this store called H&M - I easily dropped over 200 bucks in there. But I got some great stuff though! I promise! I dunno how I'm gonna keep thw guys offa me when I get back home. I suspect I may haver to beat them off with sticks! After H&M we hit Dundas Square where there were all these different stalls and people were selling things. I bought a ring from stainless steel that has a purple cubic zirconia in it and had a time watching some BBoyz perform. Dee baby, don't worry. I took videos. Just for you. The sun was beautiful and deliciously warm and gorgeous and makes me not want to leave. I love it here. Despite it being such a big place wandering around downtown has a really laid back type of feeling that I love. The buildings are big and fancy and gorgeous which makes for a beautiful skyline. And there are so many different parts of downtown. There's the club scene, the shopping/food district, the business district, Young Street, Bloor Street, Dundas Square, Chinatown, Little Italy, Little India ... I love this city!

Then, we walked down to the Harbour Front - which technically isn't a harbour at all. It's just the shoreline around Lake Ontario. It's beautiful though. The water is a little scummy but it's beautiful. And, do you know what? There's an island there and people LIVE on this island in the middle of the lake and they COMMUTE to the city via AIRPLANE! There's a fucking landing strip in the middle of the goddamn lake! I kid you not - I even took a picture. When Swati's friend Aman told me I didn't believe him.. but then I watched and low and behold .. it landed! On an airstrip! In the middle of the fucking lake! You see the coolest stuff up here - which makes me accutely aware of the fact that I come from a REALLY small place. There was this little food court type of thing there as well that had Thai, Carribbean, Egyptian, Mexican, and vegan places to eat. I had Egyptian Shawerma which was not bad .. a little different than the Indian version of it. It wasn't as spicy as what I would have like - well, to be honest it wasn't spicy at all but it took away the hunger so it's all good. And then, they have this stage area way from all the food stall and there were these Aussie guys playing. Holy Hell. It blew my mind. There are no words to describe the music these guys played. All they played was a flute, a slide digeredoo, and a face bass. Three guys in this band and one of them beat-boxed. It was fan-fucking-tastic!! And they are playing there all week end long too! And then, when we went back to the International Market there were Aussie Aboriginal dancers there doing different tribal dances - mostly to do with animals and stuff .. it was awesome! I took pictures and videos of that as well. And these concerts were free! It's amazing!

I took lots and lots of pictures! This trip has been phenomenal so far - and tomorrow I get my tattoo!!! I'm very excited! I almost got a different one tonight - i stumbled upon this tattoo parlour downtown and they had the symbols for Little Sister there ... I was tempted to get it but there were a few things holding me back. The first is that getting the sister tattoo is sorta something me and Kelly are supposed to do one of these days, and the fact that for a symbol that wasnt overly big .. it was gonna cost me like ... 150 bones sorta put me off. And I'm getting inked tomorrow so two tatts in 2 days .. probably not a good idea. Plus, I still have to go shopping with my Aunt Di on Monday - I kinda suspect I might be broke by then.

Swati and I are hitting up downtown again before I get my tattoo tomorrow. I think we're going to Chinatown and the Distillery. There's not a lot of shopping to do but I can take LOTS of pictures which will be good.

But .. it's late. So I should go to bed. Hopefully there will be more updates soon!!
xxoo

FMG - Not Foly Mucking God!!!!

I have not neglected you. At all. I promise. I suddenly seemed to have possibly bitten off more than I can chew - maybe. Want a brief run-down? No? Too bad.

Thursday I'm in a fashion show - yes, I'm sort've a model .. I think. We'll see.

Friday I move into my boss's house for 2 weeks while she goes to Florida and I get to watch her gorgeous boxer Molly!

Four days after Jackie comes back I go to Toronto for five days and live it up with Swati.

Then, three or four days ater THAT I have another fashion show to do on the 30th of August!

Then, classes start back up at MUN again - for which I may not receive a loan because the government likes to jerk me around like that. October is gonna roll around and there's a HUGE fashion show coming up, with all proceeds going to the Canadian Cancer Society, then it's Halloowe'en .. and then ..-deep breath- it's CHRISTMAS!


oh.my.god.


I just said the dirty 'C' word ....

But yes can you believe it! I signed with a modeling agency! Listen to me .. I sound so vain. Really, it's not something I don't think I will actively pursue it's just really something fun to do. Dev has started doing it as well, so I look at it as more of something we can do together. Thursday should be fun - I will definitely be blogging about it, and will hopefully have some great pictures to show you all. I have a few other friends who are in the show as well, plus I think I've invited almost every one I know to this thing! The girls at work are STOKED! I can't wait for them to come and see me strut it on the catwalk! -giggles- I even know fashion lingo - how weird does THAT sound!?

Ok. I know it's short and sweet today .. but srsly.. my legs are SO itchy! I need a bath right.now. so I can go shave and relax! The fact that it's 12am is not a pertinent observation and of totaly insignificance.

Rebellion's Ultimate Macaroni and Cheese

1 onion finely chopped
4-6 strips of bacon, fat trimmed and fried
I pkg of Kraft Tex Mex Cheese
I can of Cream of Mushroom soup
Bread crumbs
2 cups elbow pasta
Garlic powder
Parmesan Cheese

Trim the fat from bacon before frying – a (slightly) healthier option for those who want one. But, don’t worry, you’ll still have enough of the fat left to not even need any oil. I usually drain off some of the bacon grease when cooking, but this time I left some in the pan to fry up the chopped onions. When frying the onions, I also added a sprinkle of pepper.

In a separate saucepan, bring lightly salted water to boil – your going to add your elbow pasta to this. Meanwhile, in a smaller saucepan you’re going to start making your cream of mushroom soup. You can follow the directions on the can (the one I used for called for ½ can of milk and another ½ can of water .. but you can skip the water and use a full can of milk – using your can of soup as the measurement device). If you like a really creamy mac and cheese, you can add more milk as you like.

When your making the mushroom soup, you’ll need to stir it – a lot. It comes out of the can in giant congealed glops, and looks generally disgusting. It is not, I assure you, a reflection of the taste. Now, as your soup is cooking you can add some of your Tex Mex cheese and let it all melt together – and you can add your onions too!

Now, once that’s done your going to want to mix together your soup and macaroni in a separate, a slightly large dish. Be carful, the bowl is hot. I forgot this small piece of culinary wisdom and nearly burned my fingers when mixing my delicious and aromatically orgasmic ingredients together.

Now it comes time to put it altogether so it becomes one great culinary masterpiece of which epic tales of greatness will be told. People will come from near and abroad to get even just the tiniest whiff of this concoction. Don’t believe me? Sample what your cooking. See? Wasn’t I right? You are making something so ultra fantastic, amazingly delish, and chock full of uber awesome calories that your taste buds orgasms are having orgasms!!

Alright, now that you’ve mixed and churned everything together and are no doubt covered in tiny blobs of goodness it’s time to get it ready for the oven! Set your cooking device to its optimal cooking temperature and while your waiting for it to heat up, your going to put your mac and cheese in its baking dish in layers. Yeah, that’s right. Layers. You can, in addition and only if you wish, grease your baking dish. I didn’t. We’ll see what happens. Now your first layer is your macaroni – over this you add your bacon. Just remember to cut it in small bits because you want enough to get you through a couple of layers. And you also add more cheese. Then macaroni. Then bacon. Then Cheese. Now, once you’ve added your last bit of macaroni you sprinkle bread crumbs over top of it. And, as the final piece de resisitance you can sprinkle a little dusting of parmesan cheese and some garlic powder. Now, stick it in the oven to bake – uncovered - and tell me what happens!

In Memorium - Farrah Fawcett

I'm a little young to really remember Farrah Fawcett - she rose to international fame during the 70s and 80s before I was even a gleam in my grand daddy's eye.

Farrah was perhaps most well known for her role in Charlie's Angel and her heart crushing good looks and wispy blonde hair. Her poster sales ended up breaking records, which sky rocketed the American Angel to international sex symbol status. But apart from Charlie's Angels, Farrah had an impressive acting resume - and the chops to prove it as she was a multiple time Emmy Award and Golden Globe Nominee. Her roles included films such as The Burning Bed, Poor Little Rich Girl: The Barbara Hutton Story, and Small Sacrifices.

Farrah also appeared on I Dream of Jeannie with several guest appearances during the 1968-69 season, as starred alongside Lee Majors in the Six Million Dollar Man, whom she later married and later divorced.

In 2006, Farrah was diagnosed with cancer and began intense treatment that included not only chemotherapy, but surgery as well. She was heralded by the Associated Press as being 'cancer free' shortly after her 60th birthday, but soon after that the cancer was back and Farrah pursued treatment in Germany. The cancer had spread, moving from the initial anal site, to her liver. She underwent a barrage o treatment, ranging to everything from a colostomy, to chemoemobilization, and laser ablation. It was during all of this, that Farrah began to document her battle with the disease that eventually took her life.

Wikipedia had this to say about her death:

Fawcett died at approximately 9:28 a.m., PDT on June 25, 2009, in the intensive care unit of Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica, California, with O'Neal and Stewart by her side. A private funeral was held in Los Angeles on Tuesday, June 30. Fawcett's son Redmond was permitted to leave his California detention center to attend his mother's funeral, where he gave the first reading.

The night of her death, ABC aired an hour-long special episode of 20/20 featuring clips from several of Barbara Walters' past interviews with Fawcett as well as new interviews with Ryan O'Neal, Jaclyn Smith, Alana Stewart, and Dr. Lawrence Piro. Walters followed up on the story on Friday's episode of 20/20. CNN's Larry King Live planned a show exclusively about Fawcett that evening until the unexpected death of Michael Jackson several hours later caused the program to shift to cover both stories. Cher, a longtime friend of Fawcett's, and Suzanne De Passe, executive producer of Fawcett's Small Sacrifices mini-series, both paid tribute to Fawcett on the program. NBC aired a Dateline NBC special "Farrah Fawcett: The Life and Death of an Angel" the following evening, June 26, preceded by a rebroadcast of Farrah's Story in prime time.That weekend and the following week, television tributes continued. MSNBC aired back-to-back episodes of its Headliners and Legends episodes featuring Fawcett and Jackson. TV Land aired a mini-marathon of Charlie's Angels and Chasing Farrah episodes. E! aired Michael & Farrah: Lost Icons and the Biography Channel aired Bio Remembers: Farrah Fawcett. The documentary Farrah's Story re-aired on the Oxygen Network and MSNBC.^[59]

Larry King said of the Fawcett phenomenon,

“

TV had much more impact back in the '70s than it does today. Charlie's Angels got huge numbers every week — nothing really dominates the television landscape like that today. Maybe American Idol comes close, but now there are so many channels and so many more shows it's hard for anything to get the audience, or amount of attention, that Charlie's Angels got. Farrah was a major TV star when the medium was clearly dominant."

”

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner said "Farrah was one of the iconic beauties of our time. Her girl-next-door charm combined with stunning looks made her a star on film, TV and the printed page."

Kate Jackson said,

“

She was a selfless person who loved her family and friends with all her heart, and what a big heart it was. Farrah showed immense courage and grace throughout her illness and was an inspiration to those around her... I will remember her kindness, her cutting dry wit and, of course, her beautiful smile...when you think of Farrah, remember her smiling because that is exactly how she wanted to be remembered: smiling.

I haven't deserted you, internet I promise! I have been swept up in the tragic passing of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, and Romeo LeBlanc!

And, my writing hand hurts. But I have no deserted you! I shall return hopefully soon with posts about our recently passed celebrities and news of my recent doings and wanderings!

You haven't deserted me, have you?