In Which Much Is Revealed About Bra's ...

Now, as any girl will tell you, we have a very deep and soul crushing love-hate relationship with our bra. Personally, some days I love my bra. Especially the lovely push up ones. Pair it with the right low cut shirt and I can get away with just about anything! You want to break bad news to someone - push up bra! Every girl has their favorite bra. Mine is this really cute bright purple one. It really needs replacing but I can't bring myself to condemn it to the trash yet. I'll tell you why - I CAN'T FIND ANOTHER ONE IN THAT SHADE OF PURPLE!!

Every time I go to in La Senza, I head straightaway for the colored bras. And there they have usually two or three shades of purple. Now, not getting a new bra in the same shade of purple ... I can get over that. This bra is perfect. But, what I can't really compromise on, is all the lacy shit or glitter or sparkles or little beads and unnecessary dangly bibs and bops on a bra.

Take, for example, this one from La Senza:

It's pretty much the exact shade of purple that I want. But do you see all that shit in the back!? Yes, it looks very nice and very pretty but bra's are meant to be worn, and danced in, and cooked and cleaned in, and ladies ... let's be honest, wearing the right bra can make you strut like you KNOW you are the foxiest woman walking the earth! But those little rhinestone claspie-string-things in the back -  to me, that screams "Oh my god buy me because I'm so fancy! And you're gonna really love wearing me untill the little rhinestone claspie-string-things in the back break and now I'm useless to you and you can't wear me anymore, so I basically made you spend fifty dollars for nothinnnggg!!!!!"  So, thank you La Senza, but on this one I have to pass - even though my inner diva is throwing a wild tantrum, and making grabby hands for this bra.

Then we have this one, from Victoria's Secret:

                                              Push-Up Bra

This one is also gorgeous. In fact, it's almost just right - except for the lace. Whoever decided that lace belonged on a bra, had clearly never worn a bra under a tight fitting shirt and realized that it just makes your boobs look fuckin' weird - rumply and wrinkly and very, very odd looking. Don't get me wrong though, if I had the body of this particular model then you can bet your bottom dollar that I would flaunt that lace covered booby-carrier everywhere wearing nothing but a blazer. Although, it seems that it's really only celebrities and models that can get away with that particular style without getting a dozen "what the hell is she wearing?" looks. However, if I did decide to test run that look, I'm sure the old man across the street from us would give it rave reviews. Again, my inner diva cries for this bra - but in the interest of not having boobs that may or may not be nothing more than very large, and very wrinkled prunes, I have to pass.

Next to wander into the fray of bra selection is La Vie en Rose:


This one is a little paler than I would have liked, but like I said ... I can compromise on the shade of purple. But the lace on the bottom - deal breaker. It would like a very failed (and poor) attempt at stuffing a bra. I do like the fact that the straps can come off though, which does give the bra a few extra points but again .. the last under a fitted shirt just won't work.

Then of course, there are your standard plain cotton under-wire bra's that don't really do anything - not for me, anyway. Yeah, they're cute and pretty and everything else but a plain old cotton, run-of-the-mill bra doesn't exactly scream sexy to me. To me, they look more like bra's belonging to a woman who would rather loose her body in oversized men's hoodies and sweat pants, hair swept up in a rumpled pony tail, and eating a bad of Cheetos ... like when Robin got dumped.


Bra shopping is so difficult at times. Then again, maybe I'm just being overly picky. But my purple bra (that is literally falling apart) is so perfect! And it's replacement has to be just as perfect, or as near as it can get anyway.

Until then, dear readers... the journey continues.



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